Sunday, April 28, 2019

Staying the course

I watched this video which popped up in my notifications the other day because I subscribe to the channel. I discovered K. Moon several months ago and liked what she had to say because it feels true for me. It's funny how synchronicity puts certain information in our paths that is meaningful to us or gives us answers that we are seeking at that time. I've decided to write about the information contained in this video and how it has helped me to reflect on my own process. Writing this is therapy for me and I hope it might also help another who reads it.

K. Moon says that she is mainly a western astrologer but that she sometimes channels messages that she gets from spirit about twin flames. I had almost given up watching any videos about twin flames but this video had a compelling title, "Urgent message for twin flames", and I felt it held something important for me. I wasn't disappointed. Her words are beautiful and I was moved to tears especially when she spoke about how hard the role of the masculine twin flame is.

The video is a message to twins about the state of the collective twin flame mission. The main message of the video is to explain why there seem to be so many twin flames these days. She says that many twin flames, about 30,000, have abandoned the mission due to the the fact that union wasn't happening in the traditional 3D ways. She says that some twins agreed to come together in the traditional way such as marriage, children, living together, buying a house together etc. but others agreed not to come together physically and to do the mission in spiritual but not physical union. She says that those who have left the path have not done so without this having a significant impact on them. She does not explain what she means by this. In their place new twin flames have been awakened to make up the numbers necessary to continue the mission.

This video came at a time when I was feeling disillusioned with the twin flame journey. I was feeling tired and like I couldn't take any more and just wanted to quit. I've been on this journey since September 2011 when I met the person I believe to be my twin for the first time in the physical. Although I had intuitions about this journey beforehand, I felt sceptical that such a thing could happen to me because I'm just an ordinary person, not beautiful or special in any way. This scepticism has never really left me despite the signs and synchronicities, dreams and intuitions and the immense love I feel for this other person that I barely know and that has never left me since I first acknowledged it. In truth, I know that it has always been with me. Even before I knew anything about my twin, I felt him. I communicated with him when I did something good in my life. I guess I was talking to his higher self with my higher self because my conscious mind had no explanation for what I was doing.

But despite the great love I have for this person, I never saw any strong 3D acknowledgment from him that he recognised our connection. In fact there were plenty of signs but nothing that I couldn't explain away with my scepticism. Perhaps it was just my imagination, wishful thinking. Perhaps I'm deluded. Perhaps he is a player, or a horrible person that gets pleasure out of tormenting people. But then I surmised that such people are usually selfish and shallow and easily bored, so he surely
would have moved onto another victim by now. I explored all possibilities because I knew that if I spoke to someone about it, which I had tried to do in the past, they would have quite likely implied one or other of those possibilities, because in the society I was born into, people do not expect magical things to happen. Magical things only happen in the movies.

Despite this disillusionment and cynicism, I have not abandoned the twin flame mission. There are two reasons for this. One is that I cannot abandon the mission because I can't stop loving my twin. It's impossible. The other is that I had a dream about my twin in which I asked him if he had annulled our marriage. He didn't answer me in the dream but since then I have had 3D real world contact which is very difficult for me to ignore. This contact has given me a sense of security, a feeling of safety and support that I have not had since this journey began. It has given me the strength to carry on and to follow wherever it leads.

The problem for me and many other twin flames, especially those that the twin flame community has labelled as the "divine feminine counterpart", is that we have been programmed by society to expect a traditional relationship to come from the twin flame union. But twin flames have come to the planet to bring a new template for relationships. These relationships are based on unconditional love.

In the video K. Moon explains the universal mission of twin flames as it was revealed to her. She says that:

"Twins are a very particular type of lightworker soul that has been split into two bodies, instead of incarnating in one body, for the purpose of becoming conduits of unconditional love for the planet and by channeling this love for one another because the soul is tethered together by love, that's the glue that holds it together, they ground this love onto the planet and the beings on the planet, thus raising the vibration of the planet.
The journey the lightworkers known as twin flames go through to come back together with the other half of their soul, is a journey that forces us to consistently choose love over fear, to stay open when we'd otherwise shut down, and to let love win even when we feel despair, betrayal, frustration and other darker human emotions common on the Earth plane. By finding our way back to love for our twin or by finding our way toward our twin no matter what life calls on us to overcome we're walking demonstrations and energetic conduits of unconditional love for everyone we come in contact with.
As you know, if you're a twin flame this journey is not easy. It's really hard to remain in a vibration of unconditional love in the face of an absent or unawakened twin and this has caused drops in vibration for many twins, in particular those who identify as "chasers" or who identify as divine feminines.
The job of the divine feminine aspect of that soul in a twin flame union is to hold the vibration of unconditional love, while the job of the divine masculine aspect is to do the energetic transmutation. What that means is that the divine feminine is meant to be holding this vibration of unconditional love like a lighthouse, an energetic beacon, that consistently calls her divine masculine forward toward the energy that the planet is meant to be moving toward. That's really difficult to do as a divine feminine on a planet that is soaked and immersed in such challenging inverted patterns of patriarchy and masculinity and subjugation, domination. These are things that as a divine feminine staying in that vibration of unconditional love, both when this is where the planet's at and what your divine masculine needs to transmute, is hard. 
On the divine masculine side it's also hard. They are going through the process of becoming all of that darker masculine energy that the planet has become immersed in. They take it in, they become it. They put it out though their bodies and their experiences. They transmute it and then they transcend it. For a being that is pure love-light consciousness, can you imagine what that must be like to have to step into so much pain, so much toxicity, only to have to become it knowing that's not who you really are on some level and then transmute and then transcend it?  
Both tasks are incredibly difficult to do in the 3D realm so in some cases both twins have moved into those heavier 3D patterns of inverted masculinity and are doing transmutational work instead of the divine feminine holding the space of unconditional love, she's stepped out of that space and now she is transmuting these darker energies right alongside her divine masculine, most likely in separation from him. 
Others have exercised their free will and walked away from the mission of unconditional love altogether with no plans to return to it because it was just hard. This is hard to do and without enough information, insight, guidance and support it can be really difficult to continue forward in the face of so much pain."

If we look at the first part of this quote, I resonate deeply with what K. Moon is saying here. If we are speaking in terms of labels, I knew I was a "lightworker" back in the early nineties. I had always known I was here to do a job but I only found out that there were lots of us and that we had a name at that time. The twin flame label only came into my awareness after I had already met my twin. I had only read about soulmates before that. It makes sense to me that twin flames are lightworkers. Any being who is working to bring love and light to the planet could be called a lightworker and twin flames' whole purpose is to love another person completely, regardless of what they say or what they do, what their beliefs are or what their politics are, the mistakes they've made in the past or the choices they are making in the present.

When K. Moon speaks about twin flames needing to choose love over fear, stay open instead of shutting down and let love win even when we feel despair or other dark emotions, I know what she is talking about. I have had to overcome all of these and more. I run away and say "no more!" but then love transmutes the pain and I am once again able to feel the ecstasy of the soul connection with my twin.

My love for my twin will continue, I know, but the disillusionment I spoke of stems from the unfulfilled desire that pulls me towards wanting to be in physical union with him. The love I feel for him makes me want to show him even though I know it is possible. It's a natural human desire but one that I have had to tame and subdue. Many twins are in this situation so I am not unique. It is the desire of the soul to return to wholeness and unity.

To see my twin with another is very painful, but this shows me that I still have work to do to heal and transmute negative emotions regarding self-love and self-worth. I do not need the approval of another to feel whole. I do not need to be or do anything to be worthy of love.

K. Moon says she was told during the channelling that a total of 177,000 twin flames are currently on the Earth in this particular timeline. She said she asked for confirmation of the number and was given a sign that appeared to confirm the number. At the end of the video, she uses a gematria tool to give numerology messages and encourages us to do the same to see if there are any 177 synchronicities. I entered my twin's name and my name together into the tool and got the numbers It's just a little thing but it made me smile.

Thank you for my healing. I'm really beginning to understand it now.

Are you out at sea?

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

The energy is ramping up again. Palpitations and more heaviness in the chest area making it difficult to breathe. A hand on the back with gentle massage to help loved ones who are struggling to integrate the energy. Drink plenty of water and spend time with animals, birds, trees, rocks and earth, sun, sea and sky. Honour the mother and the father.

Long-suppressed emotions coming up for release, crying, laughing hysterically. Feels good to let go. Our English classes are turning into therapy sessions with students crying with laughter!

It's a great time to be alive.

Thursday, March 21, 2019

The Invitation

My friend introduced me to Mooji. I listen to him at bedtime and he helps me to calm down and let go of all the worries of the day. There is a greater wisdom in what he says which will take me some time to access. My friend said it is like peeling off the layers of the onion. The treasure inside is the true self, free of all the stories of the personality, the beliefs about who we think we are, the experiences of the past that we think define us.

This is his invitation to leave all of that outside the door and allow ourselves the freedom to be who we truly are in the moment.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019


I want to move to the next level, evolve past this stage. To understand this process more deeply. What do I need to let go of? Why can't I let go of needing ... something? Why am I still looking outside of myself for happiness, for answers?

Can Mary Magdalen help me? Yes.


"The term Initiate refers to one who has decided to live upward in consciousness, one who has decided to leave behind the mundane life and enter into an adventure of consciousness."

"Mary, the mother of Yeshua, when she was quite young, was recognised for her purity of spirit by the great Priestesses of the Isis temples. She was trained as an Initiate and reached the highest levels. But rather than becoming a Priestess, she was trained to become what is called an Incarnate.

To be an Incarnate is to be a very highly advanced soul and requires undergoing tremendous spiritual training and discipline. In the final initiation, Mary became the holder of an energy stream directly from Isis herself. In this regard, she was an embodiment of the Cosmic Mother. It is as if there were two - Mary the human, pure of spirit and heart, holding within her a direct portal into the Great Mother, the Creatrix of all matter, of all time and space."
"When I met Yeshua by the well for the first time, the mere proximity of his presence activated my internal Alchemies. A Serpent Power moved up my spine as if I had practiced the disciplines I had learned."

"Mary was with the apostles when they came upon me at the well. She immediately recognised me as a fellow Initiate by the gold serpent bracelet I wore on my arm and by the Seal of Isis which glowed within my Ka body, for Mary was quite clairvoyant and psychic.

The first person whose eyes I met were those of Yeshua, and as I said, I felt transported into other worlds in his immense presence. The second person whose eyes I met were those of his mother. In her eyes was recognition and acknowledgement of my status as a fellow Initiate within the Isis Cult, and although her training had not been in Sex Magic, as mine had been, she understood that I had been prepared for Yeshua.

Between them, I felt lifted up on wings of transcendent love. I felt my spirit soar.

Ironic then that the next eyes I would see were those of Yeshua's disciples, who judged me to be a whore, and countless generations have held me this way.

But I say to you that in Yeshua's eyes and those of his mother, I was not a whore, but a clear vessel for the healing and nurturing powers of Isis herself." 

"It is important for both Initiates undertaking the Sex Magic of Isis to realise that they are embarking on a long journey and that the process is essentially one of alchemy. The purpose of alchemy is to transform one substance into another. It does this by burning off the dross, or the negativity of a substance, so that the pure substance remains or is created."

Mary Magdalen

Tuesday, January 29, 2019


I just had an enlightening experience.  After I finished my yoga session I said thanks to my teacher (Fiji McAlpine of Do Yoga With Me), and then to myself and my body. Then I thought that if my body has intelligence and consciousness, which I believe it does, it must have a name. So I asked my higher self what its name was and I got the name 'Aurora'. Then I remembered that a student in the new group I'm starting to teach tomorrow is also called Aurora!

This confirmation is important to me because I recently decided to work more seriously on strengthening the connection with my higher self. I've given up using tarot, my pendulum or muscle testing for divination, as is the advice for this practice.

It seems to be working because the name Aurora is significant for another reason. I remembered I had read the name Aurora in one of the books I'm reading. So I went to the last page I read and there it was. Not understanding the context, I went back to the previous page which is the beginning of the chapter and I'm reproducing it here:

36: 3D Earth Stargate
The matrix formation that we present to you that is all that is you exists as the 'healthy matrix' within all structures that stand in alignment with Source. Blocks and repeated cycles of descending behaviour (negative emotional cycles) can cause lack of flow within various parts of the matrix. Stargate ascension with correct coordinates will not be possible with unresolved blocks and repeated negative cycles. The work within our previous transmission Masters of the Matrix will assist you in moving through these blocks and negative cycles.
 The moment that you shift your intention towards clearing, integration and stargate ascension, you activate codes that will bring your matrix into balanced flow. You can then access the stargates with the required coordinates for stargate ascension OR the ability to 'link into' or 'connect with' the 'Aurora dragon' (the collective consciousness of all the starseeds that create a cosmic unified DNA antimatter wave train of universal plasma). Starseeds who have not quite activated the required coordinates themselves can catch onto this and still ascend to 5D Gaia. 
Pixie, Magenta. The Infinite Helix and the Emerald Flame: Sacred Mysteries of Stargate Ascension (Kindle Locations 3423-3424). White Spirit Publishing. Kindle Edition. 

Last night and this morning I asked for guidance and when I was doing yoga I felt emotion moving through my body in the form of grief, sorrow and shame which I asked to release along with all the heaviness of the past. This is all part of the process I am going through at the moment especially in the dream state when I have been having vivid experiences on the astral levels, often with my ex and his current girlfriend. All part of the healing, I suppose.

My dream last night was significant because in the dream I was in a house, which I remember as being temporary, and I was in hurry to pack everything because I was leaving the next day or within a few hours. There was stuff everywhere and I was panicking because I had so much to do and I was worried I had enough boxes or plastic bags for all of it.  I remember considering throwing it all away and at one point I was giving some of my things to my ex's girlfriend before I woke up. (This really is poignantly symbolic of me wanting to clear out my memory fields.) The last image was of me finding a small set of laminated cards with pictures on but I don't remember what the pictures were. I just remember that they distracted me from what I was supposed to be doing, which is the story of my life. I'm forever being distracted from what I'm supposed to be doing!

I know that the outer world is a mirror of the inner and that I choose to create something beautiful. I forgive myself for sometimes losing sight of my goals but I fully commit now to the path I am on and look forward to seeing where it leads.

I see myself having lots of fun after all the hard work!

Thursday, January 24, 2019

The Embodiment Phase of Ascension

Sandra Walter explains what is happening during this phase, in general and to our bodies in particular with advice on how to cope with symptoms and take care of ourselves.