Friday, June 9, 2017

Critical mass

I discovered this channel a few months ago. I always use discernment listening to this type of information but I have found her channelings to reflect my own train of thought and some of the conclusions I have arrived at on my own which therefore gives this information credibility for me. It also gives guidance on what to do next in respect of the journey I have been on all my life but more consciously since 1991. One of the most important aims of this spiritual process is the opening to trust one's own intuition. For me, the knowing that something is truth for me is the feelings I get in my body when I consider the new thought or information I am focusing on.

In this video Magenta is channeling the reply to a question she asked regarding the focusing on fear and fear-based emotions and the possibility of "feeding the fear" and creating more. The beings she channels say that this is the case that focusing for a sustained duration on fear-based thoughts and emotions can produce situations that reflect this fear and allow them to be "acted out" in the physical world. I have always instinctively sensed this and I decided many years ago that I was far too sensitive to watch horror movies, even though my boyfriend wanted to watch them. I tried but I couldn't because I would be extremely affected by the energy frequency they emit and that was produced in me. I would have nightmares and feel very scared for days afterwards. Now, I choose not to watch anything violent on the TV and try to avoid violence in movies where possible. In fact, this need to avoid films that produce strong emotions has become more pronounced recently within the last few months. I don't really want to watch anything dramatic as I do not want to feel extreme sadness, grief, horror or disgust when the situation that produced them is not even real. I know what it feels like to go through real situations that produce those emotions and I do not wish to feel like that anymore. On the other hand, I can't watch the romantic films I used to love, nor can I watch the uplifting, spiritual movies I used to watch for inspiration. I don't enjoy watching things that only operate on the level of the emotions, I suppose, whether positive or negative. I want to watch or read things that bring me something meaningful.

The channelling puts forward the premise that focusing excessively on the negative, fear-based emotions feeds the demonic entities and focusing excessively on the positive love-based emotions feeds the angelic entities. They then go on to say that this is an overly simplified example of the polarization of this situation. They say that balance and integration is the key to a unified self and a unified society. They say that there is tendency to focus on the positive emotions and ignore the fear-based emotions but that this actually feeds the shadow side because we are made up of dark and light and both of those aspects of us have something of value to bring to us. When ignored and pushed down, the negativity grows larger and louder until it dominates our waking life and cannot be ignored any more. This, I think, is what they mean by focusing only on the positive resulting in fear. People use their addictions to hide from these emotions. Addictions can take any form, substances, compulsive behaviours, patterns of thinking. It's incredible what the mind will focus on in order to avoid doing the work of looking honestly at oneself! I am no exception to this rule and have had my own share of addictions to overcome.

They say that many people are going through the transcendence of the ego by the burying and ignoring of the shadow side. They say that in a sense this is a positive thing as it is momentum, moving forwards, which is better than stagnation, which has been the status quo for quite a while. They say while burying, ignoring and transcendence of ego and shadow is a negative move in relation to balance and integration, it is a positive move in relation to stagnation. (I agree with this statement as I hate it when nothing changes and I feel like I am stuck in a time loop.) They say mass momentum has created a shift even if it is out of balance. They say we moved into a high energetic state within the Western world yesterday and that his will last until the 21st June which is the summer solstice. They say this is a node point which represents critical mass for those who have not already awakened to the truth of who they are. This will create chaos, they say, as people will move into self-righteous anger fueled by confusion, helplessness, grief and fear. They say it is the lightworkers, light warriors, starseeds and wayshowers who will guide this momentum which is the intention of the "overseers" who are the group soul, higher self, source self, extraterrestrial, multi-dimensional aspects of us. The wise, divine aspect of us that is too great to be contained in our bodies at this lower, denser frequency but that we are able to integrate more fully each time there is another ascension wave of energy as there was last week and which are coming more and more frequently.


They go on to talk about the lightworker's mission which is to hold the energy, to guide and help others to awaken. Also to heal and to reassure. This is the work! It is an exciting time. What we've been working towards for many years, impatiently, trying to be patient! They talk about the Hundredth Monkey effect which, in case you don't know, was the observation made by a group of scientists that monkeys on a Japanese island started using a new skill that they had never used before and that when the number using the new skill reached a critical mass of one hundred monkeys, those on other islands separated by sea all started to use the skill, supporting the idea of a collective consciousness of a species. This theory is also supported by others' work such as Carl Jung and more recently, Rupert Sheldrake, with his theory of morphic fields.

If you're not familiar with this you might think it's weird but it's my truth

Speaking of addictions, this is probably the most common one. I have seen this in others and myself and this is why I hardly drink anything now. The Spiritual Consequences of Alcohol Consumption

I remember being very confused when I was about 16 or 17 which is when I had my first drinks of alcohol as to why everyone wanted to drink. It made me feel dizzy and ill and I noticed how stupid all the adults behaved around me after a few drinks. I had a friend who, every weekend, would buy a gallon of cider and then do his best to drink the whole thing before throwing up and falling unconscious. His father used to beat him so I guess he was trying to escape. Everyone I knew when I was growing up drank or took drugs. It was normal and it was expected that I would do it too. My intuition told me not to do it but I was naive, weak and didn't trust myself, so I followed the crowd. It took me many years to finally quit everything - smoking and drinking being the hardest as they are legal and therefore socially acceptable and ubiquitous. It makes me angry when I think of the time and energy I wasted but I have to believe there was a purpose for it. One good thing to come out of it is that my son doesn't drink or smoke and abhors both. People might think me puritanical but I don't care. I went to the other extreme but was lucky enough to make it back. Others I know have not been so lucky. I don't understand why people believe they need to drink in order to have a good time. Since giving up alcohol I have found that I laugh much more spontaneously and sometimes I make others laugh too because my wits are not dulled like they used to be. These days I am much happier whereas I used to be depressed all the time. I'm not usually so polarised in my view - everything in moderation - but I really can't see any positives in drinking any more. It makes people louder, more stupid and less able to listen. What's good about that?

I feel it important to add that some of the people I dearly love are drinkers.  As much as I wish they wouldn't, as I can see it isn't healthy for them, I have resolved not to judge them anymore. Since softening my judgmental attitude, my relationship with them has improved. They are in charge of their lives and their bodies and the best thing I can do for them if I love them is to trust that they know what is best for themselves. If I hold them in a vibration of love I will give them energy instead of taking it away from them. They will feel loved and accepted for who they are which they need to start the healing process. I know from my own experience that alcohol closes the heart chakra and that chronic drinkers suffer because the flow of love from self to others is blocked. More importantly they are unable to love themselves and all the heavy drinkers I have ever known have deep wounds from childhood and suffer from very low self-esteem. It makes me want to reach inside them and take their wounded child into my arms and tell him or her that I will never leave them and always love them. But I cannot do that. Only they can do it for themselves. All I can do is to be present for them.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Ascension Waves

I found these articles last night but they perfectly explain the mysterious flu-like illness I have which started with shoulder and neck pain last Thursday. Yesterday, I had to leave work and come home for the first time in years. I was feeling very dizzy and disorientated with headache and neckache and fever. The neckache thing is not new. I get it now and then. But it passes after a day or two. It is always exactly the same and I always feel stronger afterwards. This time however it has been much stronger and I'm still feeling it but work calls.  I have been meditating on it, sitting with the feelings. I feel the upgrade and I have noticed that I don't want lower vibrational things in my field. I'm ready to let go of the need to keep trying to inform others and feel like I want to focus on my own process. I always knew intellectually that the best way to help others was by healing myself but now I feel like I know this experientially. All I can do is love, love, love!
https://www.lovehaswon.org/ascension-spirituality/energy-update-huge-acceleration-of-ascension-in-effect-due-to-frequency-wave

http://www.healingenergytools.com/crystalline-bodies/

Feeling much better now after a day at work - never thought I'd say that! Still some backache but only a little. I really don't want to do the things I was doing before. I'm not interested in mainstream news and culture at all and the alternative news seems to have disintegrated into petty squabbling and disinformation. It's difficult to discern fact from fiction but what is interesting is that it doesn't seem to matter to me all that much any more. I'm disengaging from the drama because I know that's what I need to do to stay sane and healthy. I feel like the truth is that the old paradigm is crumbling before our eyes and it's fighting desperately to remain relevant and keep people spellbound with drama. The controllers are losing control and they are trying very hard to keep our attention as it is literally our energy, our focus, that holds the whole ridiculous charade together.

I know it's time to turn my focus towards something new. I want to focus more on new things, new ways of doing things and, more importantly, new ways of thinking. I have done my part helping with the destruction of the old and now it's time to lend a hand creating the new.

                                                           ************************

Here is an article with some interesting information and a Q&A. I find the information about the vortices particularly interesting and I have felt drawn to places with strong energy. I enjoy going to places such as churches and stone circles for this reason. I have often been surprised by my own reaction such as at West Kennet Long Barrow where I started crying suddenly for no reason.

http://ascensionenergies.com/2017/06/02/the-next-phase-in-the-shift-is-about-to-begin/

http://www.healingenergytools.com/ascension-physical-changes/


Shu Nun stone mound in Ukraine


Wednesday 7 June

I have been sooo tired today! I start early on Wednesdays but it was more difficult than usual to work this morning. I had to nap in my car twice today during my breaks. Only 20 minutes each time but it helped. I still feel light-headed and everything feels different, kind of dreamlike. Nothing feels the same since my "ascension sickness". It feels so much better and today I feel really positive whereas yesterday I was in pain, a lot of pain. Emotional pain because I am purging, I think. I was full of doubt because I am in love but I still didn't feel worthy. But today I don't feel so much self-doubt. I feel more like I am moving into a state of acceptance. I know I am not perfect and I am not ________ (enter my usual 1,000 adjectives of self-flagellation) but as with the problems of the world that for so long I felt were my personal responsibility, today I feel like it's all good. I am as I am and that's enough. I am releasing my attachment to the outcome. I am realising that I can love and not expect anything in return. What makes me happy is to love and to love so deeply and so honestly, so unconditionally. I love him and it's enough. A week ago I felt the energy change between us and I didn't know why. I was afraid I was going to lose him forever. I don't know what is happening in his life or why I sense so many different emotions (energy in motion) but now I know that I can stay strong. I am releasing fear and so my ego, the feisty warrior who fights so hard for me when I need her to, is taking a break and allowing my higher self to take the reins for a while. I need guidance to step into this new phase of my life and for that I need a strong connection which can only be attained with a higher, subtler vibration. Acceptance is that higher vibration and it feels like peace.


Monday, November 28, 2016

Saying goodbye

Wednesday was the worst day of my life. It was the day we said goodbye to our beloved French bulldog. He was 12 years old and had a massive tumour growing out of his right foreleg, a large one at his throat and other smaller ones on his head and neck. He was losing weight but his coat was beautifully glossy and soft which was remarkable since throughout his life he had suffered with allergies and skin problems which caused his fur to fall out, leaving bald patches. But even though his coat looked healthy, he was terminally ill and he wasn't going to get better. He could not stand for long as he couldn't put any weight on his right leg and so we fed him by hand - meat and vegetables - and carried him to the garden. Every night he would sleep on my bed except when I had to get up very early and he was keeping me awake because he used to pant and move around sometimes when he was in pain and the drugs hadn't started working. Then he would sleep with my son or a few times with my father. Most of the time he seemed to be free of pain but some days he would cry and then we would question whether we were doing the right thing by keeping him alive. We came very close to putting him to sleep in September but we were all relieved when the vet called to say that she had been held up and so couldn't keep the appointment at our house. We were all happy that fate or God had stepped in to give us more time with him.

But this week we all agreed it was time because he was clearly suffering and his leg was now infected. Also, I was afraid that he might suffocate as his breathing was loud and irregular. This woke me at night, perhaps because I was sensitive to him as with a baby and I didn't sleep deeply. I had to make sure he didn't fall off the bed if he decided he wanted to get down which he occasionally did. But I didn't mind looking after him. I loved to take care of him but the hard thing to accept was that he wasn't getting better from our care and we asked ourselves if allowing him to continue in this way wasn't selfish. We didn't really know how much pain he was in. He had good days and bad days. Sometimes, I would come home and my parents told me he had cried all day, even after being given painkillers. Other days he would have no drugs and be calm and almost like his old self.  He would take himself down to the garden sometimes and just the other day I was telling him and my son how amazing and how brave he was and he looked proud and jogged a little and jumped up the step onto the patio. He was amazing!

He was really my parents' dog but even before we moved to Spain during our holidays we would visit and I remember him as a puppy so small and vulnerable. I remember lying on the sofa with him one afternoon and cuddling him. I can't explain why but I know something happened. It was like a heart to heart connection was made between us. I suppose, looking back, perhaps I bonded with him as though he were my baby. I remember being excited to take him out in my arms to show him the countryside around our home. My parents said he was afraid to go out but he wasn't with me. As he got older, our walks became a special time that we shared. Our return to England was a painful separation. I missed him terribly and my parents said he just sat staring at the gate waiting for us to return. He was certainly a deciding factor in my decision to move to Spain because then I got to be with him all the time. I adored him and he adored me. I had never felt such a strong bond with any of my pets before him, as much as I loved them.

He loved to have his chest scratched and when we went out in the car to the park or to the mountains, he would sit next to me and if I stopped scratching he would paw me until I started again. He had his own internal GPS because wherever we went for a walk he knew which way led back to the car and would always choose to go the opposite way. I think he would have been happy to walk for hours if I had been able to. We were always out for much longer than when my father took him for a walk because we both enjoyed it. With him I felt like we were going on an adventure, as though we were somewhere strange and were exploring it for the first time. Sometimes we got lost in the orange groves - well, not lost exactly, but one time I couldn't find the way out of the maze and he must have been there before because he led the way back to "civilisation". He looked after me as I looked after him.

So it was an agony to say goodbye to him last Wednesday evening. It broke my heart. People can tell you it's the right thing to do but it still feels like a betrayal. In the stages of grief, I am far from acceptance. I just want him back and to see him again. But I know I will never hold him in my arms again. So I will sleep with his blanket over me, walk in the countryside imagining he is at my side and pray that I will see him in my dreams so that I can tell him I'm sorry and that I will always love him, my beautiful babydog.


Stitch - named after a character from the Disney film, Lilo and Stitch, because he looked like the blue alien with the big ears, wide mouth and button nose, especially when he was a puppy
Stitchy, Stitchypoo
Stitchy the Fish, Fish Dog (he was a Pisces)
(The) Snorts - because he always snorted like a truffle pig
The Snortanator - because he used to headbutt the door open with quite a force - he hated closed doors
Sir Snortsalot (my son's invention, a variation on Sir Lancelot) 
Mister Bolchek (said with a Russian accent) which came from him repeatedly checking his bowl in case someone had put some more food in it and that when we called out "bowl check!" he would come running to his bowl
Babydog 
Stitchybaby - when sung to the tune of "Santa Baby" at Christmas time

He loved mandarins - of course, he was a Valencian dog - and roast chicken. He loved roast chicken so much that he would sit staring at the counter in reverence, at the place where the chicken was, long after we had finished dinner. Hence the use of the term, "Chicken God" when referring to Stitch's passion for roast chicken.