Ascension Waves

I found these articles last night but they perfectly explain the mysterious flu-like illness I have which started with shoulder and neck pain last Thursday. Yesterday, I had to leave work and come home for the first time in years. I was feeling very dizzy and disorientated with headache and neckache and fever. The neckache thing is not new. I get it now and then. But it passes after a day or two. It is always exactly the same and I always feel stronger afterwards. This time however it has been much stronger and I'm still feeling it but work calls.  I have been meditating on it, sitting with the feelings. I feel the upgrade and I have noticed that I don't want lower vibrational things in my field. I'm ready to let go of the need to keep trying to inform others and feel like I want to focus on my own process. I always knew intellectually that the best way to help others was by healing myself but now I feel like I know this experientially. All I can do is love, love, love!
https://www.lovehaswon.org/ascension-spirituality/energy-update-huge-acceleration-of-ascension-in-effect-due-to-frequency-wave

http://www.healingenergytools.com/crystalline-bodies/

Feeling much better now after a day at work - never thought I'd say that! Still some backache but only a little. I really don't want to do the things I was doing before. I'm not interested in mainstream news and culture at all and the alternative news seems to have disintegrated into petty squabbling and disinformation. It's difficult to discern fact from fiction but what is interesting is that it doesn't seem to matter to me all that much any more. I'm disengaging from the drama because I know that's what I need to do to stay sane and healthy. I feel like the truth is that the old paradigm is crumbling before our eyes and it's fighting desperately to remain relevant and keep people spellbound with drama. The controllers are losing control and they are trying very hard to keep our attention as it is literally our energy, our focus, that holds the whole ridiculous charade together.

I know it's time to turn my focus towards something new. I want to focus more on new things, new ways of doing things and, more importantly, new ways of thinking. I have done my part helping with the destruction of the old and now it's time to lend a hand creating the new.

                                                           ************************

Here is an article with some interesting information and a Q&A. I find the information about the vortices particularly interesting and I have felt drawn to places with strong energy. I enjoy going to places such as churches and stone circles for this reason. I have often been surprised by my own reaction such as at West Kennet Long Barrow where I started crying suddenly for no reason.

http://ascensionenergies.com/2017/06/02/the-next-phase-in-the-shift-is-about-to-begin/

http://www.healingenergytools.com/ascension-physical-changes/


Shu Nun stone mound in Ukraine

Wednesday 7 June

I have been sooo tired today! I start early on Wednesdays but it was more difficult than usual to work this morning. I had to nap in my car twice today during my breaks. Only 20 minutes each time but it helped. I still feel light-headed and everything feels different, kind of dreamlike. Nothing feels the same since my "ascension sickness". It feels so much better and today I feel really positive whereas yesterday I was in pain, a lot of pain. Emotional pain because I am purging, I think. I was full of doubt because I am in love but I still didn't feel worthy. But today I don't feel so much self-doubt. I feel more like I am moving into a state of acceptance. I know I am not perfect and I am not ________ (enter my usual 1,000 adjectives of self-flagellation) but as with the problems of the world that for so long I felt were my personal responsibility, today I feel like it's all good. I am as I am and that's enough. I am releasing my attachment to the outcome. I am realising that I can love and not expect anything in return. What makes me happy is to love and to love so deeply and so honestly, so unconditionally. I love him and it's enough. A week ago I felt the energy change between us and I didn't know why. I was afraid I was going to lose him forever. I don't know what is happening in his life or why I sense so many different emotions (energy in motion) but now I know that I can stay strong. I am releasing fear and so my ego, the feisty warrior who fights so hard for me when I need her to, is taking a break and allowing my higher self to take the reins for a while. I need guidance to step into this new phase of my life and for that I need a strong connection which can only be attained with a higher, subtler vibration. Acceptance is that higher vibration and it feels like peace.

http://www.healingenergytools.com/crystalline-bodies/

I AM

abundance

God has placed a deeper mind within you

Is this grace?

Saying goodbye

Wednesday was the worst day of my life. It was the day we said goodbye to our beloved French bulldog. He was 12 years old and had a massive tumour growing out of his right foreleg, a large one at his throat and other smaller ones on his head and neck. He was losing weight but his coat was beautifully glossy and soft which was remarkable since throughout his life he had suffered with allergies and skin problems which caused his fur to fall out, leaving bald patches. But even though his coat looked healthy, he was terminally ill and he wasn't going to get better. He could not stand for long as he couldn't put any weight on his right leg and so we fed him by hand - meat and vegetables - and carried him to the garden. Every night he would sleep on my bed except when I had to get up very early and he was keeping me awake because he used to pant and move around sometimes when he was in pain and the drugs hadn't started working. Then he would sleep with my son or a few times with my father. Most of the time he seemed to be free of pain but some days he would cry and then we would question whether we were doing the right thing by keeping him alive. We came very close to putting him to sleep in September but we were all relieved when the vet called to say that she had been held up and so couldn't keep the appointment at our house. We were all happy that fate or God had stepped in to give us more time with him.

But this week we all agreed it was time because he was clearly suffering and his leg was now infected. Also, I was afraid that he might suffocate as his breathing was loud and irregular. This woke me at night, perhaps because I was sensitive to him as with a baby and I didn't sleep deeply. I had to make sure he didn't fall off the bed if he decided he wanted to get down which he occasionally did. But I didn't mind looking after him. I loved to take care of him but the hard thing to accept was that he wasn't getting better from our care and we asked ourselves if allowing him to continue in this way wasn't selfish. We didn't really know how much pain he was in. He had good days and bad days. Sometimes, I would come home and my parents told me he had cried all day, even after being given painkillers. Other days he would have no drugs and be calm and almost like his old self.  He would take himself down to the garden sometimes and just the other day I was telling him and my son how amazing and how brave he was and he looked proud and jogged a little and jumped up the step onto the patio. He was amazing!

He was really my parents' dog but even before we moved to Spain during our holidays we would visit and I remember him as a puppy so small and vulnerable. I remember lying on the sofa with him one afternoon and cuddling him. I can't explain why but I know something happened. It was like a heart to heart connection was made between us. I suppose, looking back, perhaps I bonded with him as though he were my baby. I remember being excited to take him out in my arms to show him the countryside around our home. My parents said he was afraid to go out but he wasn't with me. As he got older, our walks became a special time that we shared. Our return to England was a painful separation. I missed him terribly and my parents said he just sat staring at the gate waiting for us to return. He was certainly a deciding factor in my decision to move to Spain because then I got to be with him all the time. I adored him and he adored me. I had never felt such a strong bond with any of my pets before him, as much as I loved them.

He loved to have his chest scratched and when we went out in the car to the park or to the mountains, he would sit next to me and if I stopped scratching he would paw me until I started again. He had his own internal GPS because wherever we went for a walk he knew which way led back to the car and would always choose to go the opposite way. I think he would have been happy to walk for hours if I had been able to. We were always out for much longer than when my father took him for a walk because we both enjoyed it. With him I felt like we were going on an adventure, as though we were somewhere strange and were exploring it for the first time. Sometimes we got lost in the orange groves - well, not lost exactly, but one time I couldn't find the way out of the maze and he must have been there before because he led the way back to "civilisation". He looked after me as I looked after him.

So it was an agony to say goodbye to him last Wednesday evening. It broke my heart. People can tell you it's the right thing to do but it still feels like a betrayal. In the stages of grief, I am far from acceptance. I just want him back and to see him again. But I know I will never hold him in my arms again. So I will sleep with his blanket over me, walk in the countryside imagining he is at my side and pray that I will see him in my dreams so that I can tell him I'm sorry and that I will always love him, my beautiful babydog.

Stitch - named after a character from the Disney film, Lilo and Stitch, because he looked like the blue alien with the big ears, wide mouth and button nose, especially when he was a puppy

Stitchy, Stitchypoo

Stitchy the Fish, Fish Dog (he was a Pisces)

(The) Snorts - because he always snorted like a truffle pig

The Snortanator - because he used to headbutt the door open with quite a force - he hated closed doors

Sir Snortsalot (my son's invention, a variation on Sir Lancelot) 

Mister Bolchek (said with a Russian accent) which came from him repeatedly checking his bowl in case someone had put some more food in it and that when we called out "bowl check!" he would come running to his bowl

Babydog 

Stitchybaby - when sung to the tune of "Santa Baby" at Christmas time

He loved mandarins - of course, he was a Valencian dog - and roast chicken. He loved roast chicken so much that he would sit staring at the counter in reverence, at the place where the chicken was, long after we had finished dinner. Hence the use of the term, "Chicken God" when referring to Stitch's passion for roast chicken.

Dealing with 3D people

Transcript http://energeticsynthesis.com/index.php/resource-tools/blog-timeline-shift/2827-dissolving-the-3d-personality

http://www.loveisrespect.org/content/what-gaslighting/ Yes, I remember